Personal Message to Creators

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17472761_sImage Copyright: Maryna Ivanova / 123RF Stock Photo Used with permission.

Creating is fun. Creating is exciting. You want to share your work with the world. I understand. I know the feeling. But, there is also another part of the creative world that isn’t as fun. It can be distressing. And, on occasion, it can be downright disturbing.

People will want the instructions on how to create it. Please will want it and sometimes demand it.

I can’t even share a photo of something I’ve just created without someone freaking out because there is no pattern yet.

They will ask you for:

  • Instructions in English.
  • Instructions in Spanish.
  • Instructions in every language under the sun.
  • A video tutorial.
  • A photo tutorial.
  • A drawn tutorial.
  • A drawn chart.
  • Another size.
  • Every other size.
  • Instructions in another needlework method or technique.
  • The list goes on and on.

It is human nature to desire things and the demands will be there but it doesn’t mean that you need to provide them! If you don’t have the time, energy or technology to provide, please don’t let it eat you up. It’s okay to say no.

The internet has opened up your world to a large variety of people and some are very demanding about their requests. Just say no. You can’t do it all. You will never be able to do everything that every person requests of you.

Do what you love and say no to the rest. Trying to fulfill every single request of every single person will take all the joy out of creating.

Edit: Just so there is no misunderstanding. People are going to make requests. Suggestions are terrific! It’s not about the asking. It’s about how the creator responds to those requests. Some creators will try so hard to fulfill those requests that it becomes overwhelming and can lead to all kinds of problems (been there) when, really, sometimes the best response is “No, I can’t do that right now.” This is a life lesson and goes beyond crochet. It could be applied to any number of things. The ability to say no can be difficult.

Know when to embrace the No.

41015540_sImage Copyright: maudis60 / 123RF Stock Photo Used with permission.

28 comments

  • Wendy Ludwick

    I completely agree! I’ve never posted a project for that reason. But, I have purchased many patterns/books if I like a certain designer or project. I feel the artist needs to be supported.
    Wendy

  • marla

    Amen. People think of the word no as a bad word, it is not. It is a strong and useful word.

  • Excellently stated. It can wear us down trying to do what everyone wants. I try my best. But at times, I do become frustrated.

  • Sandi

    I had someone ask me to make something I made it and posted a picture to showcase my work and I got a bunch of nasty threatening messages from person saying they were gonna sick lawyers on me putting my work down and in end they kept the work even after complaining and talking down to me. I brushed it off because they are just not worth it!

  • Thanks for sharing this; I never realized how stressful sharing patterns can be for the designers…I hope I haven’t contributed to this problem…certainly will be aware in the future, in any case! Your work & sharing are appreciated!

  • Angie Knoll

    You are the second artist in the last few days that is mentioning this issue. I am not one of those folks who demand but I know there are many out there. I appreciate everything you and every other artist choose to share. I am not blessed with the gift of design skills but I so dearly love the gift of being able to use the free and purchased patterns. I just want to say THANK YOU to you and all artists who share their talent with the world. God Bless you all in your endeavors.

  • I know it can be hard but trying to please everyone is a quick road to burnout. Trust me. I’ve been there. I didn’t crochet for three months because of it. Just do what you love! A request for something from someone doesn’t mean that you *have* to provide that service. People want a lot of things and I don’t fault them for wanting. It’s great that suggestions are offered! But, it doesn’t have to be done. Just say no. It won’t hurt. I promise. Don’t get so overwhelmed that you forget about YOU!

  • I completely agree. “Just say no!”

  • Karen

    Long ago I designed and sold to a national magazine a pattern for a little girl’s bomber jacket. Sample in two sizes for Big Sister/Little Sister. It was purchased, contract signed, payment received. A few weeks later I hear from the magazine that they want the jackets redone, same yarn, different colors. I was very sad because I wasn’t about to buy the yarn and the zippers and spend the time necessary to remake them. With no further payment offered. The contract didn’t mention this possibility, and after receiving payment I thought it was a “done deal”. I returned the money, and they returned the sweaters. The colors they asked for were new, and my assumption was that they were going to be paid by the yarn company for promoting their new colors. Crappy way to treat a designer.

  • Michelle

    All of the above is so true beyond words, it has caused me to stop designing and designing was a huge part of why I learned to knit and continue to crochet.

  • Karen

    A few weeks ago “Wink, a Creative Being” posted that she was stressed out and taking some time off. I figured it was burnout. Today her sister posted about her suicide. We need to be good to ourselves. Which means knowing that you can’t please everyone and aren’t called to. That old saying, “The only real success in life is spending it in your own way,” has a srcond line, “free from the irrational demands of other people.” Or something very like that.

  • Monica

    I am not a designer by any means and certainly not an advance crocheted but I completely understand what you are saying. I have learned that if there is not a pattern or will not be a pattern, to just leave at that. So many beautiful creations out there it is not hard to see why people want the patterns. 😉 love the creations I have seen so far Kim and thank you for sharing them.

    One question: the pic of the hearts you used, she called them knitted but they looked crocheted to me. Are they knitted or crocheted? I tried to zoom in but the pic ends up blurred. Thank you 🙂 <3

  • cheryl chandler jacobo

    Unfortunately, people can get ugly with their demands, and that’s a shame. I’m not a designer, seller, or have a business. I crochet and knit because I love doing it. Bless you for your talent Kim, you’re awesome!

  • Amy

    People are amazingly demanding. You are so right. You can’t satisfy everyone and shouldn’t even try.

  • Amen. Amen. Amen. I have had to learn the power of a kindly, “No, sorry, I just can not at this time.”
    I am not a designer but an avid crocheter of more years then I care to admit lol. It can get overwhelming when it seems everyone wants you to do this, that, or the other. I too put my hook down for a good year after being taken advantage of. It was the most depressing time in my life as I love my crochet time! I picked it back up with that powerful sentence and have felt liberated ever since.
    I highly appreciate all the work that you and all other designer’s put into a pattern so that we all can enjoy the art. Thank you Kim. 🙂

  • Nikki Pearson

    I spend a lot of time looking for new inspiration each day. I am always struck by the demands put on the designers and it has caused me to pause my plans to start my own blog. Would I be able to keep up with requests? Could I physically handle the toll it would take on me (I don’t have the best of health due to a lifelong condition) and would it take all of the fun out of something that helps keep me sane on the bad days? After honestly answering those questions, I decided to put my plans to start a blog, on hold. I’m sure I will start these things eventually. It’s just that now is not the best time for me. Saying no doesn’t just apply to others, sometimes we need to be more honest with ourselves about what we can handle. I’ll get there eventually, at my own pace and I doubt very much that if I’m lucky enough to have someone read my posts they will know that I put a temporary hold on my plans. No is not a nasty word. It’s a powerful, realistic one. Thank you Kim for all of your work 🙂

  • Kaycee

    I am fairly new to crochet and knit groups/blogs but I have to say I am often shocked at how rude people can be in their demands for things. Tantrum posts about patterns not being free or in extended sizes or the correct language. One blogger posted a music video where everything was made with yarn and a few particularly nasty commenters complained about the video not being in English (because this is America, ugh!). Don’t get me wrong I have asked questions but there is a time, place and way to go about it. If you do ask you should do so with the understanding that the designer has every right to tell you no and many times should. Just because its posted on a blog or a facebook feed does not make everyone entitled to make demands and it certainly does not make everyone entitled to have their demands filled. Thanks for a good reminder.

  • Thank you for this post.
    I have asked for help in the past and you responded. You always help if you are able. In fact several page owners and designers do respond and I admire that.
    I’m just an amateur and sometimes I have fun just “doodeling” with my hook and yarn. I’ve realized how responsible I have to be if I write a pattern for it.
    I commend all serious minded designers ♡

  • Dianne

    Saying NO has always been the hardest thing for me too!
    So well said

  • Sheri

    This is awesome!!!

  • Christina Mathes

    I’m a bit late to this conversation, but I just found you. I’ve been searching for a video tutorial on how to change sizes on patterns. You see, I’m a large woman and most patterns I’ve been able to find range from XS to L. I can make everyone I know whatever they want with a pattern, but I can never wear my own work. I found your 3 minute Preview and thought it would be great if I could get into the class you teach. I’m having trouble finding any other information other than what is stated on the youtube video. Could you possibly tell me how much the class costs and approximately when you think you might host this class again? I would love to be able to wear my own creations.

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